Tag: Skip

Welcome to Me Was Not a Winner for Me

A picture of Kristen Wiig in the film Welcome to Me.

Welcome to Me

Directed by Shira Piven
Written by Eliot Laurence

The review:

I wasn’t having a great mental health day when I watched this film that attempts to find humor in a mental health crisis,* which made it hard to appreciate this story. Though it was packed with actors I’m always happy to see** and Kristen Wiig’s deadpan performance was exactly what the character needed, I think this movie is best left on the shelf. I suppose you could watch this for the set design, if you were into that.

The verdict: Skip

Cost: free via Kanopy, the Library’s streaming service.
Where watched: at home

Consider watching instead:

Interestingly, the National Alliance on Mental Illness lists Welcome to Me as a movie about mental illness that gets it right. Their other recommendations are:

Further sentences:

*It also had a layer of people taking advantage of a person experiencing a mental health crisis, so I suspect I wouldn’t have liked this even on my best mental health days. I’m not a fan of stories where a person’s weaknesses are exploited for someone else’s material gain.
**Kristen Wiig! Wes Bentley! Linda Cardellini! Joan Cusack! Loretta Devine! Jennifer Jason Leigh! I’m even happy to see James Marsden! Plus both Tim Robbins and Alan Tudyk were in this.

Questions:

  • What parts of Alice’s life rang true to you?
  • What do you think is the best film that depicts an aspect of mental illness.

Favorite IMDB trivia item:

The actress playing Kristen Wiig’s mother is actually director Shira Piven’s mother.

Other reviews of Welcome to Me:

Orange background with text: Come with me. Into another time that happened to me. —Welcome to Me. Read the three sentence movie review. 3SMReviews.com

The Kissing Booth 2: Teenage Girls Deserve More

Picture of Jacob Elordi holding a sign saying, "I missed you more" in the Kissing Booth 2

The Kissing Booth 2

Directed by Vince Marcello
Written by Vince Marcello, Jay S. Arnold

The review:

Good gravy, don’t teenage girls deserve story logic like teenage boys do?* Nothing in this film makes sense, especially the time line** but also people’s motivations are cued at the need of the plot. Regardless, did I watch the whole thing with a smile on my face?***

The verdict: Skip

Also Good, if you are in the right mood and willing to overlook many, many flaws.

Cost: Netflix monthly fee ($8.99)
Where watched: at home

Consider watching instead:

Further sentences:

*Yes, they do!
**The time line in this film operates at speed of plot. Sending in college applications in September? Finding out if you got into schools in June? Homecoming carnival happening after Thanksgiving? Still unanswered from the first movie: Dance Club? Who are the other members? What does the club do?
***Yes.

Questions:

  • How does this movie manage to be pleasurable and maddening at the same time?
  • What was the single most unrealistic moment in this film?

Favorite IMDB trivia item:

The movie is set in Los Angeles but mostly filmed in Cape Town, South Africa.

Other reviews of The Kissing Booth 2:

Love Simple is a Simple Movie

A picture of Francisco Solorzano and Patrizia Hernandez with a sketch of NYC brownstones behind them

Love Simple

Directed by Mark von Sternberg
Written by Mark von Sternberg

The review:

When you have two characters who are both lying to make themselves look better to the person they like it doesn’t make for the best narrative.* While this is a solid example of a middle-to-low quality indie film, it’s not the best way to spend your time. While you are waiting for the couple to find each other out, you can wonder if you’ve seen anyone anywhere else,** contemplate if naming a female character “Keith” is more distracting than endearing, and take in some 2009 fashions.***

The verdict: Skip

Cost: Free via Kanopy Streaming Service
Where watched: at home

Consider watching instead:

Further sentences:

*They will either discover their lies and break up, or discover their lies and find a way to forgive each other. Those are the two endings. Watching them pile up their lies until the point when they have to come clean does not make for an interesting movie.
**Mostly the answer is no.
***Men’s jeans were still really baggy then. I had forgotten.

Questions:

  • Who was telling the biggest lie?
  • Were you rooting for or against the couple by the end of the film?

Once Upon a Time in America is Very Long

Pictures of Scott Tiler, Robert De Niro, Jennifer Connelly, Elizabeth McGovern, Rusty Jacobs, and James Woods

Once Upon a Time in America

Directed by Sergio Leone
Written by Leonardo Benvenuti, Piero De Barnardi, Enrico Medioli, Franco Arcalli, Franco Ferrini, Sergio Leone. (And this, my friends, is where the trouble starts.)

The review:

Well, I’m two for two with finding movies beginning with “Once Upon a Time” incredibly boring.* I also loathed this film on so many levels: terrible acting,** its treatment of women,*** the fact that it tips its hand too much early on and solves the mystery.**** This film is all of these synonyms: clumsy, slow, lumbering, cumbersome, graceless, maladroit, ponderous, plus misogynist to boot.*****

The verdict: Skip

Cost: Free from the Multnomah County Library
Where watched: at home

Consider watching instead:

Further sentences:

*This one was so much so that I fast forwarded through the last 10 minutes. I’d already invested nearly four hours, so I had given it my due diligence.
**The younger kids were the biggest bunch of terrible actors I’ve seen gathered together in some time.
***Not one, but two rape scenes, the one with Elizabeth McGovern being brutal. Plus some gun-on-nipple action.
****In the restored scene at the cemetery I figured out what had happened. And there was still so much movie.
*****That said, I did think the salt/balloon idea was brilliant. That three minutes of movie was great.

Questions:

  • Why, oh why do people like this movie? Whhhhhyyyyyy??????
  • Was there any character who made this worth watching?

Favorite IMDB trivia item:

When filming was completed, the footage ran to a total of eight to ten hours. Director Sergio Leone and editor Nino Baragli trimmed the footage to around six hours, with the plan of releasing the film as two three-hour movies. The producers refused this idea, and Leone had to further cut the film down to three hours and forty-nine minutes.

(Yet it seemed more like six hours when watching.)

Other reviews of Once Upon a Time in America:

Age can wither me, Noodles. We're both getting old. All that we have left now are our memories. —Once Upon a Time in America. Read the three sentence movie review. 3SMReviews.com

Cancel the Delivery of You’ve Got Mail

Photo of Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan in the movie You've Got Mail

You’ve Got Mail

Directed by Nora Ephron
Written by Nora & Delia Ephron adapted from Miklós László’s play

The review:

I didn’t like this in 1998 and the central problem remained in 2020.* Thus, I wasn’t much of a fan, except for Meg Ryan’s incredible wardrobe,** the amazing bookshop*** and being amused at the premise that the family that runs big bookstores would have that level of wealth.**** I will say that it’s an interesting study of someone breaking out into her own person during middle age,***** which is the hidden gem of a story in this watchable-but-unlikeable film.******

The verdict: Skip

Cost: $3.99 via Google Play
Where watched: at home

Consider watching instead:

Further sentences:

*When a man knows a key piece of information and purposely withholds it from a woman he might be in love with, that makes him a secretive and manipulative jerk. It was that way when Jimmy Stewart played this role and it’s that way when Tom Hanks does.
**A few things haven’t aged well, but most of her outfits hit the spot.
***She even mentions the Betsy-Tacy books!
****This does poke fun at old men fathering children with much younger women, which is fun.
*****Though she loved books, she was carrying on her mother’s legacy. This didn’t give her a chance to find out who she wanted to be.
******I also enjoyed the quick and easy breakup scene. One could call it lazy writing, but it was carried off with such verve.

Questions:

  • What was your favorite Meg Ryan outfit?
  • How did you find the AOL aspect now that we’ve moved past AOL chatrooms?

Favorite IMDB trivia item:

The children’s bookstore scenes in the film were filmed at Maya Shaper’s Cheese and Antique Shop on 106 West 69th Street. The filmmakers wanted to use the antique shop because it had the quaint, homey feel they were going for. They sent the owner of the antique shop on vacation for a few weeks, and while she was gone they turned the store into a children’s bookstore. After filming was finished, they put everything back the way they had left it, and it became an antique store once again.

Other reviews of You’ve Got Mail:

Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life--well, valuable, but small--and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? —You've Got Mail. Read the three sentence movie review 3SMReviews.com

The Cotton Club Encore: Ignore the Gangsters

Photo of Gregory Hines in the Cotton Club Encore

The Cotton Club Encore

Directed by Francis Ford Coppola
Written by William Kennedy and Francis Ford Coppola

The review:

I’ve not seen the original, but this encore version has a not-interesting gangster story interspersed with incredible vocal and dance performances by the entertainers performing at the Cotton Club.* Richard Gere wanders around in dark sun glasses playing his coronet** looking troubled, while meanwhile Gregory Hines has actual problems*** It’s fun to see actors looking young**** but this is a very long movie that has its focus on the wrong thing.

The verdict: Skip

(or watch it and fast forward to the performance scenes)

Cost: $1.99 via Redbox OnDemand
Where watched: at home

Consider also watching:

Further sentences:

*That’s right! You can fast forward through all of the gangster plot and just hang out at the Cotton Club.
**Much is made of the fact that Gere is really playing that coronet.
***Making the choice between being a solo act or sticking with his brother; being in love with a woman who makes choices that make it difficult to be in a relationship with her; the fact that he’s underpaid because his artistry can be exploited.
****1984 was kind of a long time ago, it turns out. Gere, Gregory Hines, Diane Lane (very young!) Nicolas Cage (also very young!) Bob Hoskins, and Laurence Fishburne.

Questions:

  • Have you ever watched a film for reasons other than the main plot?
  • What’s your favorite “performances” film?

Favorite IMDB trivia item:

Laurence Fishburne’s character, Bumpy Rhodes, was based on real-life Harlem gangster Ellsworth “Bumpy” Johnson. Fishburne would play Bumpy in Hoodlum (1997) 13 years later.

Other reviews of The Cotton Club:

Text: You've got about as much style as a bowl of turnips. —The Cotton Club Encore. Read the three sentence movie review: 3SMReviews.com

A Not Great Beat Beneath My Feet

The Beat Beneath My Feet

The Beat Beneath My Feet

Directed by John Williams
Written by Michael Müller

The review:

Only because of Luke Perry did I watch this and though there is ample Luke Perry,* I was not blessed with a good movie, though it does stop well shy of being terrible.** It’s the kind of movie where things happen because plot requires*** rather than unfolding organically. The music was fine.****

The verdict: Skip

Cost: free via Kanopy
Where watched: at home

Consider watching instead:

Further sentences:

*And god bless Luke Perry for imprinting on me in the 90s, but can we talk about his range? I feel like he does what he does well: attentive stares, sad eyes, thoughtful performances. But I don’t know if I’ve seen him step outside those things. Please weigh in with your input.
**Sometimes boring movies are worse.
***How exactly did this famous singer with an American accent get away with living on the dole in London under an assumed name? Do they have unemployment benefits for non-citizens there? Perhaps they do and I’m thinking of the USA’s attitude toward welfare. But really, no one recognized him? Also, was there no other sympathetic sort at school than the hot girl?
****Though if you are looking for a sad people musician story, might I recommend Song One?

Questions:

  • What would you have done to spruce this movie up?
  • Who’s your favorite sad musician in real life?

Favorite IMDB trivia item:

Luke Perry is left handed and his character writes left handed in the film, but plays guitar right handed.

Other reviews of The Beat Beneath My Feet:

The Beat Beneath My Feet

Teen Spirit Teaches You to Relax Your Jaw

(and other handy things to know about singing)

Max Minghella’s Teen Spirit is so very blah that if not for the electrifying performance at the end, it would not at all be worth watching.* Elle Fanning’s Violet is so tamped down in her emotions that even as her star started rising, I didn’t feel much of anything. This is the kind of film that doesn’t even inspire me to write three sentences.

The verdict: Skip

Cost: Free via Kanopy
Where watched: at home

Further sentences:

*As is, it’s still not worth watching, but that end performance was a good payoff for my boredom.

Consider watching instead:

Questions:

  • What would have perked this film up?
  • What did you think of Elle Fanning’s accent work?
  • Can you name the Beatle’s song that mentions the Isle of Wight?

Favorite IMDB trivia item:

In an interview with Hollywood XYZ, Director Max Minghella confirmed that all of Elle Fanning’s singing in Teen Spirit in the film is real and in fact recorded live, not in post-production.

Other reviews of Teen Spirit:

The Dark Knight: Still Nope

The Dark Knight

Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight features and masterful performance by Heath Ledger and is a nihilistic movie I despise.* While every actor involved is excellent** I do not think that plot points hold up.*** Again, Gotham looks great**** though the cool monorail has disappeared and the Wayne building is entirely different than in the first movie.

The verdict: Skip

Read the Wikipedia summary and you can move right on to the next in the series.

Cost: free because Matt owns two DVD copies of this film.
Where watched: at home

Consider watching instead:

Further sentences:

*Psychopaths with no plan who want to cause only chaos do not make for an interesting film. There’s a bleak worldview that runs through this that only gets bleaker as the film wears on. It’s like everyone involved making this movie was going through a divorce, declaring bankruptcy, and their dog, wife, or child died while filming. I gave it a second viewing because everyone loves this film, but I do not like it, not at all.
**Maggie Gyllenhaal was a particularly good addition to the cast.
***”Where is he getting all his weapons?” I asked as the Joker picked up a bazooka/big gun thing and started firing. The Joker says that explosives are cheap, but they aren’t that cheap. I don’t buy that someone who aspires to be an agent of chaos would have this much discipline to coordinate the details of his nefarious scheme.
****Though again, where are the women? That entire police funeral was 95% dudes.

Questions:

  • If you are a person who likes this film, what makes it great for you?
  • What’s your favorite version of Batman?

Favorite IMDB trivia item:

While filming a chase scene on Lake Street, the Chicago Police Department received several calls from concerned citizens stating that the police were involved in a vehicle pursuit with a dark vehicle of unknown make or model.

Other reviews:

The Dark Knight

Kicking and Screaming is More Like Napping and Mumbling

Kicking and Screaming

The review:

Noah Baumbach’s Kicking and Screaming is full of really low-energy, quasi-adult men dithering about things for ninety-six minutes that feel more like three hours; it has not aged well.* Now that it’s not the 90s, well-educated white guys who can’t figure out what to do after college are not quite the selling point they once were.** It was interesting to see actors in their younger years,*** and I really enjoyed looking at the details of the craftsman bungalow**** the post-college students lived in, but this is not a good film.

The verdict: Skip

Cost: Netflix monthly fee ($8.99)
Where watched: at home

Consider watching instead:

Further sentences:

*It reminds me of Swingers in that regard, though this is if you took Swingers, extracted all the humor, the whirling friendships, dialed down the energy to 10%, and eliminated the fun swing dancing scene.
**This has a Metascore of 75, which is pretty high. The last boring movie I watched (One and Two)had a meta score of 47. I can only think that those reviews must have been from 1995, when the movie was released.
***Eric Stoltz is always fun. The big surprise that the main character, Josh Hamilton (Grover) is someone I’m familiar with as Clay’s dad in 13 Reasons Why and also Kayla’s dad in Eighth Grade. I would not have noticed, except I started looking up things on IMDB before I was finished watching it. The true sign of an uninteresting film.
****The floors needed redoing, but man, those built ins! To die for!

Questions:

  • Did you happen to watch this in the 90s? What did you think?
  • Can you think of an equivalent slacker movie with women as protagonists?

Favorite IMDB trivia item:

The film was almost accepted in competition at the Cannes Film Festival, but Noah Baumbach refused to cut 15 minutes as they requested, and the film was ultimately rejected.

Other reviews:

Kicking and Screaming