Three sentence movie reviews: The Book of Life

There were many things to love about this movie:  the Mexican folk tale; the underworld; the fact it was incredibly pretty to look at.  However, I didn’t see large sections of it, because I kept falling asleep, even though I didn’t want to.  Chalk it up to the late start time and NOT the lack of interesting plot.

Cost:  $31.75 for myself, Matt, 3-D glasses, a bag of popcorn and a box of candy. (We were on vacation, so I rolled with it.)
Where watched:  Cornelius Cinemas

poster from: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2262227/?ref_=nv_sr_1

When’s that Channing-Tatum-with-the-wolf-ears movie coming out?

I was thinking it was this weekend, but the Internet made me laugh arguing with itself.  The top search result plainly states July 18, 2014, but the picture next to that information says February 2015.
Phooey.  That was one of my five approved movies to see in the theater this summer. In happier news, this means I can sub in Boyhood  which I stupidly forgot to put on the list and which I’m dying to see.  Boyhood is going to be a better movie anyway.

Quoted on Filmspotting. About Channing Tatum, of course.

Filmspotting is a recent discovery, I stumbled across it last fall and really look forward to the weekly podcast, as well as dipping into the archives.  The hosts, Adam and Josh, spend a good 20+ minutes chewing over the movie they’ve chosen to review every week and there is always a top-5 list.  One of the other features is a reader poll.  Every other week they announce the results and read comments.  I’m excited to say I’ve been quoted twice before (both times talking about women and movies!) but the poll for this week was about Channing Tatum.  So you know I had stuff to say about that.  They even linked to my Channing Tatum Personal Film Festival blog post.

http://www.filmspotting.net/reviews/1180-496-top-5-films-of-2014-so-far-the-rover.html

If you would like to listen, click on the above link and then move along to the 25:40 minute mark.

Thanks Filmspotting for making my to-see movie list long, giving me something to listen to when I clean the house and also making me famous!  You know, in that internet way.

Three sentence movie reviews: 22 Jump Street

The chuckling continues in this continuation of the sequel to the remake of the 80s television franchise.*  Hill and Tatum provide similar-type laughs with Hill cracking me up when he realizes the unfortunate family connection of a romantic interest.  However, the actress Jillian Bell stole every scene she was in, and had me gasping with laughter at one point, making her the find of the movie.

Cost: $2.00 (due to gift card being exhausted, leaving me with a small balance**)
Where watched: Regal Lloyd 10.

poster from: http://www.impawards.com/2014/twenty_two_jump_street.html

*The credits are very funny to and seem to indicate this is the end of the road for this particular incarnation of the franchise.
**However, I did pay something like $4.50 for a small popcorn which I managed to spill twice before I began eating it.  Aside from being a slob, looking at $2.00 worth of popcorn sitting on the theater floor is no fun.

Three sentence movie reviews: 10 Years

I’m giving another shout-out to this quiet little film, which I liked just as much the second time around as I did the first.  It’s not life-changing, but it’s fun to watch and I’ve had worse times at the movies.  Plus, it’s packed full of people you will recognize, (but from where?) including Oscar Issac, who everyone loved in Inside Lleweyn Davis.

Cost:  I think I paid $7.00 to buy it?
Where watched:  at home.

poster from: http://www.impawards.com/index.html
Note that this is a hideous poster.  Don’t judge by the poster.

Three sentence movie reviews: Step Up 2: The Streets.

When watching the Step Up* movies, I find it best to turn off the racial filter because really, the mostly white kids are going to best the mostly of color kids at their own game, really?  That said, this is an enjoyable dance movie, which is to say that the plot is incredibly predictable, some of the acting is horrendous and it doesn’t really matter because there is enough dance to make it fun.  The leads are fine with Robert Hoffman all wide-eyed and shiny and Briana Evans all snarly girl with a heart of gold.

Cost:  free from library
Where watched:  at home

*I enjoyed calling this movie, “Step Up Two Colon The Streets.”

Channing Tatum report.  Indeed, he has a bit part, just as I assumed.  However!  Said bit part (about 5 minutes total) also consists of CT dancing!  Using trampolines.  Becuase all the cool clubs have trampolines.  I guess? His dance was total CT and had an ending that made me squeal with delight.  And yes, I actually squealed.

Plan your own Channing Tatum Personal Film Festival

I have completed viewing all the films credited to Channing Tatum on IMDB [that are not short films].  Or, as I refer to it:

The Channing Tatum Personal Film Festival. magic_mike

Or, given the quality of some of the films:

I watched them so you don’t have to.havoc

For your convenience, I have categorized the films for those of you who want to plan your own Channing Tatum Film Festival.

Movies where CT has a major part:DJ_IT_1Sht_18

  • 21 Jump Street
  • 22 Jump Street
  • The Book of Life
  • Dear John
  • The Eagle
  • Fighting
  • Foxcatcher
  • G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
  • Jupiter Ascending
  • Logan Lucky
  • Magic Mike
  • Magic Mike XXL
  • She’s the Man
  • The Son of No One
  • Step Up
  • Stop-Loss
  • The Vow
  • White House Down

 Movies where CT is not the main focus. 

Or: Only watch these films if you are interested in the movie.
(His role may range from a cameo to a bit part that doesn’t have much screen time. )guide_to_recognizing_your_saints

  • 10 Years—This is an ensemble and he’s in it as much as the other actors.
  • A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints—Plays the angry friend of the main character.  He doesn’t have a lot of screen time, but is rather feral, which is rare.
  • Battle in Seattle—Ensemble cast.  He has a lesser amount of screen time than others in the ensemble.
  • Coach Carter—one of the many basketball players.  But figures greatly in the turning point.
  • The Dilemma—Secondary character in a tremendously unfunny film.  However, he’s at his funniest here, but sadly, the rest of the movie is a hideous ball of crap.
  • Don Jon—Plays an actor in a cheesy romantic comedy.  Total screen time: approximately 30 seconds
  • G.I. Joe: Retaliation—Very short-lived character.
  • Kingsman: The Golden Circle–secondary character who spends most of the movie not in the movie.
  • The Lego Batman Movie–Quicker cameo as the voice of Superman
  • The Lego Movie–Quick cameo as the voice of Superman.
  • The Hateful Eight–He makes a brief appearance in the last third of the film..
  • Hail Caesar!–Plays an actor. Total screen time is maybe 10 minutes.  However, most of those minutes are a very wonderful tap dance routine.
  • Havoc—Dude in the background who has maybe three lines.
  • Haywire—Secondary character, but his first appearance was perhaps my favorite scene in the entire movie.
  • Public Enemies—Pretty Boy Floyd is not long for the world.  Maybe 30 seconds.
  • Side Effects—Isn’t around as much as one would think from the poster.
  • Step Up 2: The Streets—He doesn’t make a huge appearance, but he does dance.
  • Supercross—Plays a minor character with perhaps 5-10 minutes of screen time.
  • This is the End—Tiny cameo, but funny

Perhaps you would like to tackle the list by genre?
CT Movies divided by category:
(Major roles in bold font)white_house_down_ver8

Action/Adventure

  • G.I. Joe: Retaliation
  • G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
  • The Eagle
  • Haywire
  • Kingsman: The Golden Circle
  • Logan Lucky
  • Supercross
  • White House Down

shes_the_manComedy

  • 21 Jump Street
  • 22 Jump Street
  • The Dilemma
  • Hail Caesar!
  • She’s the Man
  • This is the End

eagleDrama

  • 10 Years
  • A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints
  • Battle in Seattle
  • The Book of Life
  • Coach Carter
  • Don Jon
  • Fighting
  • Foxcatcher
  • The Hateful Eight
  • Havoc
  • Magic Mike
  • Magic Mike XXL
  • Public Enemies
  • Side Effects
  • The Son of No One
  • Stop-Loss

 step_upRomance

  • Dear John
  • Step Up
  • Step Up 2: The Streets
  • The Vow

Movies I most enjoyed
Or: Maybe you just want me to tell you which ones I liked.
(Major roles in bold font)vow

  • 10 Years—Great ensemble cast examining where they are 10 years after high school.
  • 21 Jump Street—Generally very funny, especially if you watched the original TV series.
  • 22 Jump Street–If you liked the first one, you will like this one.
  • A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints—Uneven 80s NYC friendship drama that stuck with me.
  • Battle in Seattle—Interesting period piece.
  • The Book of Life–Solid animated flick.
  • Coach Carter—I’m a sucker for a good sports film.
  • Dear John—I was prepared to hate it, got sucked in and loved it.
  • Don Jon—Uncomfortable, but interesting.
  • The Eagle—Made me wonder why there aren’t more movies set in Roman times. Plus!  Jaime Bell.
  • Foxcatcher–sedately paced drama with great performances all around.
  • G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra—I was ready to grit my teeth through the whole thing, but it was a fun movie.
  • Haywire—Holy crap, there are some good fight scenes in this.
  • Hail Caesar!–This movie is funny! And fun to watch.
  • Logan Lucky–Especially if you like heist films.
  • Magic Mike—The movie that got me started.  Also, it’s much darker and deeper film than the previews would have you believe. Go Soderbergh!
  • She’s the Man—Funny adaption of Twelfth Night.
  • Side Effects—The less you know about this, the more you will enjoy it.
  • Step Up—I’m a sucker for a good dance movie and CT can move.
  • Stop-Loss—Solid returning soldier drama.
  • This is the End—Hilarious.  But you have to be ready for boy humor.
  • The Vow—Surprisingly well done and a great story.
  • White House Down—This had horrible reviews, but I thought it was great fun.

For Die Hard Complete-ists.  
Or:  Movies I don’t recommend you watch.
(Major roles in bold font.)fighting

  • The Dilemma—One of the worst movies I’ve seen in the last decade.
  • Fighting—Not very interesting, but with fighting.
  • G.I. Joe: Retaliation—Maybe I was just mad I had nothing to look at but Adrianne Palicki, but this movie was not very entertaining.
  • The Hateful Eight–If you’re a Tarantino fan, why not?  If not, don’t bother.
  • Havoc—This movie disturbed me.
  • Jupiter Ascending–maybe will become a cult classic in 20 years, but right now just bad.
  • Kingsman: The Golden Circle–this was much too violent for me, but others might like it.
  • Magic Mike XXL–waaaay too long in the middle.
  • Public Enemies—So boring, despite its population of actors I usually love.
  • The Son of No One—Kind of a mess, structurally.
  • Supercross—Also not very interesting, but with no fighting.

Here is IMDB’s list of all his films.

Three sentence movie reviews: Supercross: The Movie.

It wasn’t horrible.  It wasn’t good either, being incredibly predictable and not very ably acted.  Nor were the dirt bike scenes very interesting, but overall it wasn’t an offensive movie, just the kind of movie that shows up on cable and you leave it on because you are mildly depressed and can’t think of anything better to do.

Cost:  free due to boyfriend going out of town and letting girlfriend poach off his Netflix queue.
Where watched:  At home, while painting my toenails a fabulous shade of dark blue with turquoise glitter.  My time wasn’t invested in vain because they look great!

Channing Tatum screen time:  probably about 10 minutes total.  He plays the son of a man who owns a company that makes dirt bikes. I’m guessing if the dirt bike people read this review they would leave very angry comments about my use of the word dirt bikes.

Three sentence movie reviews: Havoc

I came away from this movie thankful that I’m not wealthy and don’t have an over-privileged daughter who only finds “real” while slumming in the ghetto.  I can’t say I enjoyed this film; Anne Hathaway was good–she often “brings it”–but something was off. It may be that she didn’t look or talk like a teenager, yet many of her character’s motivations supposedly stemmed from being a teenager.

Cost: $2.75 from Videorama
Where watched:  at home.

Channing Tatum screen time report:  approximately 3 minutes, in the background.  And yes, that was why I picked this movie.  Only one more to go and I will have seen every feature-length film he is credited with on IMDB.  Unfortunately, that one is Supercross: The Movie.  It has a Rotten Tomatoes rating of 6%.  I watch them so you don’t have to.

Three sentence movie reviews: This is the End.

And after marinating in a rare two hours of all-women-being-awesome-on-film, it’s kind of head-shaking that not 24 hours later I was, by choice,* watching a complete and total boy-humor movie.  And this movie is packed with boy humor encompassing pretty much every boy-movie cliche:  poop, weed, masturbation, extraneous gore, urine, romance, alien invasions, random big action sequences, well-hung demons, and flirting with being a bad-ass.  For something that was designed to make you think that a bunch of pot-head, 20-something name actors wrote this while they were high, it was pretty top-notch, managing to pack a whole lot in to a tightly-scripted movie that had me gasping for breath through my laughter several times.**

Cost: free due to birthday present.
Where watched:  Laurelhurst.  With Matt

*I picked it as the movie Matt would take me to for my birthday.  Really.
**Seriously, if you are tuned into the boy humor, this movie is FUNNY.  I can recommend it.

 (ahem.  Also Channing Tatum has a tiny bit part in it.)