There have been a lot of essays and musings this summer about the Mental Load women carry. I think this comic nicely encompasses the scenario. For me, the Mental Load is right up there on the list of reasons I will never have a wedding. Also, it’s nice to have a term for something I feel acutely.
Also. Justin Klump! Did you send them the wrong photo? It’s the most logical explanation for what’s going on here. Why would your promo photo not show your whole face?
Primer has been replaced by some great color. I bet Paul is excited to be getting such a good new coat of paint.
There’s a total solar eclipse happening soon, I don’t know if you’ve heard.
If you haven’t heard, I guarantee that you do not live anywhere near Portland, Oregon, because right now the eclipse has popped right to the top of general conversation topics, sometimes even outranking discussions of the weather, and the continually perplexing antics of the occupant of the White House.
I’ve backed away from these solar eclipse conversations because a lot of them go like this:
Someone: So what are you doing for the eclipse?
Me: I’m excited to go to Salem to watch it, ideally from the park in front of the State Capitol building.
Someone: When are you leaving?
Me: I am committed to getting up as early as I need to, in order to get myself to Salem.
Someone: That’s not going to work.
They don’t always say it straight out. Sometimes it’s a series of follow up questions, each in a tone that says I’m an idiot for thinking my plan will work. Sometimes they lead with it, as in the phone conversation I had last night where the first thing caller said was, “You don’t think you’re actually going to drive to Salem, do you?” Sometimes it’s a shake of the head and a doubtful lip purse as I outline my plans.
It’s frustrating. It’s frustrating especially coming from people who know me, and who should know me well enough that “plans” means “detailed itinerary with many options, including multiple backup plans.” Those same people who know me should also know that when I’m firmly committed to fun and excitement, that I will find it whether or not those plans will come to pass.
What really bugs me people’s inability to see anything but trouble in my excitement. This has lead to more than one frustrated rant on my part.
“When people tell me they are engaged, do I point out to them that statistically, their impending wedding is likely to be a costly endeavor that will end in divorce?” I said to a friend at lunch the other day. “No, I do not, I congratulate them, because they are excited, and thus, I will be excited with them.”
I get that not everyone thinks experiencing a total eclipse is super cool. I get that not everyone is excited about the influx of people. I get that there might be terrible traffic, clouds, or any number of unknowns that might get in the way of my path to totality. But when people tell me they don’t like crowds, do I tell them they should suck it up and wade into the crowds for this amazing experience? I do not, because I accept that they will not enjoy an experience with crowds. I let them be them.
They need to let me be me, which means not getting in the way of my excitement.
With that out of the way, here’s the plan:
Route option #1. Portland to Salem via I-5
Route option #2. Portland to Salem following the same route we did when we rode the Oregon Scenic Bikeway. It’s all back roads straight to the capitol.
Route option #3. Portland to Salem via a different bike route to Salem, but this one on the west side.
Supplies:
The radio and internet are important supplies. I will be monitoring the traffic conditions throughout the weekend. If I’m hearing reports that absolutely no one is getting through to Salem or anywhere in the path of totality, not via any roads, not even those traveling through the night, well then, we will be experiencing the near-total eclipse from Kenton Park, and I will be happy to have the day off, and greatly enjoy 99% of the super cool experience.
Note that I don’t count the internet as something that will be available during the navigation to the event, as it is possible that the grid will be at capacity and internet will not be something to be relied on.
Maps. Big state map of Oregon. Pages of relevant maps of the area copied from maps at the library.
Water. Several gallons, in case we end up spending the day with no access to water.
Food. In case there is no food to be had.
Full tank of gas. I’m thinking it’s wisest to not count on getting gas anywhere in the path of totality
Books and games. Things to do when we are waiting, either in standstill traffic, or at the capitol hanging out before or after the eclipse.
Blankets and pillows. If we’re leaving at 3 am, 1 am, the day of, or 11 pm or 9 pm the night before, I’m going to need to nap, and I want to be comfortable during that nap.
Toilet paper. Because you never know when you will need toilet paper.
Eclipse glasses. No eclipse blindness for us.
Phone chargers. Even if the grid is at capacity, we don’t want to inadvertently cut ourselves off of potential communication because our phones have died.
The most important thing I’m bringing:
A sense of adventure and a sense of fun. Because even with all my plans, it might not work out. I might experience the eclipse from the park seven blocks from my house, or from standstill traffic outside the path of totality. We might run into all sorts of things not anticipated or thought of that mean that we don’t get the unique opportunity of totality. But when people ask me, “What did you do for the eclipse?” or “Have you ever seen a total solar eclipse?” I’ll have a story to tell. And it won’t be one of how I got up like I do nearly every Monday and went to work, because the obstacles of getting to the unique experience 60 miles away were too high and it seemed like too much of a pain.
I’m quite proud of my colorful tracker for my Grammar Lab class progress. My early goal was to do each week of classwork in six days, rather than seven. I used colors to keep track of how I was doing. You can see how things progressed. 
One thing I wasn’t counting on was that the class would become easier as it went on. Thus, I spent 200 minutes on July 15–at that point a normal amount of daily work–on Week 4 and was surprised to discover that I had finished all the week’s activities in one sitting. From that point on, all weeks took less than 300 minutes to complete. Phew!
And I also feel quite gleeful at finishing nearly three weeks early. That gives me a nice chunk of summer without classwork.
It was 1998. I read a book by Deepak Chopra about Ayurvedic medicine. I was putting the recommendations into place. I bought a tongue scraper*, a loofah for dry-skin brushing, made some ghee.
(*I still have that same tongue scraper and it’s something I heartily recommend. Get a tongue scraper. Your mouth health will improve!)
I was supposed to drink peppermint tea in the afternoon. However, there was no way to make peppermint tea at my place of work.**
(**Motion Industries, Somerville, Mass. First job out of college)
So one dark New England night, I convinced my college boyfriend (at that point, I guess he was a post-college boyfriend) to drive me to a local variety store whose name escapes my memory. There, I bought a full-length mirror, and this thermos.
I didn’t take to the peppermint tea ritual. But the thermos hung around and later, working at the Extension service, I would boil water in the morning, drop in a tea bag, and then drink the two cups of tea over the course of the morning. That habit followed me to the next job, and the next, and to the current job.
But today, this thermos was dropped one too many times and it has ceased to function. I’m very sad to see it go. I liked getting two cups out of tea out of one tea bag. I liked the sound the tea made when it poured from the thermos. I drew comfort from using the same item year after year.
Thermos, you’ve been well worth whatever the amount I paid for you. (I’m pretty sure it was less than $15.) Thank you for such good service.
Paul has been blanketed in primer. I love the color swatch hanging from the temporary fence.
A re-watch for me, the first time for Matt. I found I liked it better this time. It seemed funnier, which might be because I was watching it with someone.
Cost: free from library
Where watched: at home with Matt
poster from: http://www.impawards.com/2015/trainwreck_ver2.html
(Is not this poster amazing! This scene wasn’t even in the movie!)
From my most regular postcard-er Sara, she writes of her happiness that she has gotten a ton of prep done for the class she is teaching this fall. Good job Sara!
In the middle of an otherwise uneventful June night, I was slumbering away when suddenly, there was a terrible crash. It was the cat perch falling to the ground, taking with it a surprised Sentinel.
I ordered a new cat perch the next morning, but then my grammar class started and I had no time to install it when it arrived. However, the work for my grammar class is now finished, and the cat perch has been installed.
I’m quite happy with the quality of this cat perch, bought from the Vertical Cat. It cost double the price of the cheap thing I bought from a big box pet store, but I think the quality is probably quadruple.
And now, pictures of me bribing the cats to explore their new perch.
Without being coaxed by treats, they are not so into the perch. I think they remember the other one falling, but hopefully this one will be accepted eventually.
Along with being busy with many various and sundry things, I keep a close eye on my money. I grew up without a sense of abundance around money–though we were solidly middle class–and while I’ve had off and on times of cultivating feelings of abundance around money, I do worry about having enough. “Enough” being defined specifically as enough to live comfortably now while also saving enough to keep me from eating cat food in my dotage.
There was a time in my 20s when I would regularly check out the library’s 332.024 call number, which is the personal finance section. A friend, seeing my interest in money, gave me the book Your Money or Your Life when I was 26 and I applied those principles for the next decade or so.
I’ve slacked off over the last few years. In 2015 I took a pay hit when I left my job of nine years. My justification was that taking a reduced salary (which also gave me summers off) would result in many more opportunities within the organization in the future. It turned out to be a bad gamble. After a few months of observing the organization, I concluded I wouldn’t want to work there for another few months, much less for the rest of my career.
Happily, the job hunt was brief and successful, and I landed a new position where the salary exceeded my job-of-nine-years salary.* I received two raises the first year, boosting my salary to its highest level, ever.
(*Though actually, due to the 32-hour week and 7 weeks vacation at the job of nine years, I was making less money at the new job. I knew that once I left that particular job it would be very hard to equal the pay/benefits ratio.)
This new position fits me well, and I’m happy to have the job. O! But I miss the days and days of time off I used to have. It turns out that what was fueling my many projects over the years, was being supported by having enough time to do the projects. And I didn’t just have time for the projects. I had time to read a ton and goof off and not get a lot of things done too. Now, working 40 hours per week, not even having ALL the federal holidays off, it seemed like there wasn’t any time left for rebuilding the planter box out front or painting the back doors where the painters declined to finish the job. I had even solicited names of handymen to rebuild said planter box. Because when you barely have time to get the laundry/grocery shopping/cooking done, how can you even think of finding time to do the fix-it things?
Then, two things happened in quick succession. The first was that I took an online class this summer. It took up time. The first three weeks, in particular, took up 12-14 hours per week. After that, things settled back to 3-4 hours per week, but I noticed that even during the weeks that took the most hours, I had time to finish all my assignments. Could that time be applied to other things?
The second was a link in the YNAB newsletter. YNAB is the budgeting program I use to manage my money. They are very good at helping people get an understanding of the money coming in, and how to allocate for your priorities. Their newsletter is full of stories of people who paid off gobs of debt in small amounts of time, or people who saved for the exact vacation they had dreamed of. One week, there was a link to an older post by Mr. Money Mustache about appreciating the work you’d done to grow you ‘stache. And to enjoy life.
Who was Mr. Money Mustache, and what was this ‘stache to which he referred? Happily, there was a “start here” post.
I started.
Mr. Money Mustache (MMM) is the online persona of a former tech worker who through his 20s saved large amounts of his large tech salary and “retired” by the time he was 31. He believes in saving much more of your money than spending it, in reducing your consumption of many things and of not wasting your time on things that aren’t worth your money. He also believes in both “insourcing” as much of your life as possible, and living in frugal luxury.
He’s funny, swears a lot, and also suggests a good punch in the face, often self-applied. (In one of my favorite “punch you in the face” posts, he discovered that Mister Money, a check cashing firm, had opened in his town. Aghast that people who don’t have any idea what they spend in the first place would go to Mister Money and pay a $15.00 fee for a payday “loan” he contemplated opening a competing store next door where people would give him $15.00 and he would punch them in the face and not take the payday loan.)
Mr. Money Mustache writes a lot of things that elicit a reaction of, “Nuh-uh” for the general population. Never buy a car using a loan, bike everywhere, hang your clothes to dry, save 75% of your pay, stop buying stuff. Stop buying most everything.
There’s a part of me (MMM would call it the complainypants part of me) that has the same whiny response. I don’t have a tech worker’s salary! 75% of my pay isn’t enough to live on! It’s hard to bike everywhere, especially when it’s rainy! Clothes take forever to dry if you hang them in the winter! Sometimes I like to buy stuff!
But even as these thoughts were crawling through my head, I there was a louder drumbeat:
Mr. Money Mustache is your people!
And that voice was right. While I still live a fairly frugal existence–cooking my food, riding public transit to work, buying a lot of my clothing second hand–over the past winter, I noticed a small voice asking where was that person who biked a lot of places, got excited about projects and got stuff done? Where was the person excited about anything?
Reading Mr Money Mustache posts feels like a shot of the best “early-rising-farmer energy” the kind that usually kicks in around May every year and lasts through the summer. That energy boost didn’t happen this in May, and I wondered if it would come at all. It turned out what I needed was a good talking to from MMM.
I’m already set up for the MMM lifestyle. Laundry? I bought a really nice outdoor clothes dryer years ago. Plus I have two in my bedroom for when it gets raining again. Biking? My bike is tricked out for all sorts of errand running. I don’t even need a bike trailer for most stuff. Saving money? I’m crazy good at it. When I looked at my budget 40% of my net pay is already going either to my retirement accounts, or to speed up debt repayment. Not buying stuff? I’ve got some room to improve there–just last weekend, even after reading MMM, I spent almost $50 on window washing gear–but I’m game to try.
And guess what? If I found 3+ hours per week to study and do my classwork, you bet I can find time do some projects. And I love doing projects. I love to plan projects, and I love to work on projects, and I love having done projects. (Finishing them is not my favorite thing). My house is full of cool stuff that wouldn’t be there unless I (and whomever I roped into helping me) hadn’t done the projects. And my house is just waiting to be cooler than it was because there are still projects to do.
Am I biking EVERYWHERE? No, not right at the moment. My work pays for a transportation pass for me, and I don’t love that bike to work, so for now I’m keeping my commute the same delightful (and free!) experience it is. But I did get out a compass and draw a circle on my the big map in my living room that shows me one mile journey in every direction from my house. I’ll start by biking to all of those places and make the circle bigger as I get my biking muscles back.
Am I saving MOST ALL of my paychecks? No, but I’m keeping a much better eye on what I spend, and I’m excited to finally do the project where I find out how what the best price for the food staples I use really is.** I’m also looking into some side jobs that can bring in extra cash.
(**I really want someone to build me an app for this. Here’s what I’m looking for. A way to list all my staples: brown rice–long grain, pinto beans, peanut butter, apples, etc. A way to be in the store, and to quickly find a particular staple on the app. When I find it, it will show me the average price I pay, the lowest price I’ve paid in the last (specific amount of time) and the price I paid the last time I bought it. I would also like to have a desktop interface, so I can type the newest data on something besides my phone. If you build me this, please let me know you have done this. In the meantime, I’m going to make a Google sheet. So unfancy! I would pay up to $5.00 for a no-ad app.)
Am I thinking of doing a big landscaping project–one that will bring much daily joy to me after it’s finished, as well as adding curb appeal–armed with only my wits, books from the library, the tools I already own and the willing help of the boyfriend? Why yes I am, and I know that Mr. Money Mustache would be proud.
Will I be able to save enough to retire in 10 years, at 52? Maybe. But regardless, I don’t feel so hopeless about working until 70. Because I’ve got the skillz to get the savings in order long before that. I’ve spent all of my adult life honing them. I just needed Mr. Money Mustache to remind me.
